


I Woke Up Early!!

by txslonghorns39



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Declarations Of Love, Depression, F/M, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, emotional breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 19:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9457685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txslonghorns39/pseuds/txslonghorns39
Summary: A story from the Sole Survivor's perspective. How she handles finding true love, facing the emotions she buried for so long, and putting her past behind her to embrace her future, with the man who broke down her walls and showed her she could be happy in this wasteland.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story. Please be kind, I have been tweaking for days. I am putting it up and hoping it is good enough. I welcome and positive feedback and help. I hope you enjoy. Thank you!!

I woke up early; the light was barely coming through the window. I looked around and tried to figure out where I was. Nothing seemed familiar; I felt pressure on my chest and realized there was an arm draped over me. I slowly looked over and there was another person lying next to me. How did I get here and who is this? It doesn’t look my house and this certainly is not Nate. My head felt fuzzy, so I thought maybe if I sat up it would help. The air was thick and had a funny smell. Then it hit me the sounds coming from the radio. The music sounds familiar, but the voice on the other end woke me from my haze. It is Travis and he is in Diamond City and I am in the Commonwealth, but not the Commonwealth I grew up in. I am in the Wasteland and this is not Nate lying next to me, Nate was dead and our son was missing. I had been looking high and low to find him. 

Then I realized who this is next to me. It’s MacCready. Robert Joseph MacCready, originally from the Capital Wasteland and here in the Commonwealth to find a cure for his son who was sick, and then leave, but that didn’t go exactly as he planned. We did find the cure and we got it to his son Duncan in the Capital Wasteland, but Mac couldn’t leave. He knew his son Duncan was well cared for by the family of his late wife Lucy and he knew that having a hired mercenary as a father wasn’t what a boy needed. Growing up the way he did is what made him who he was and he refused to let that happen to Duncan. Duncan had two loving people to care for him and raise him the way kid should be raised. He gave his son life twice, once when he was born, and again when he delivered the cure. Now he was staying in the Commonwealth with me. 

I hired him in Goodneighbor for some backup and slowly as we traveled together we learned more about each other, and grew closer every day. We could communicate just by looking at each other, which was helpful in a fire fight. I knew he would take a bullet to keep me safe, and I would do the same. I could not imagine not having him with me. Looking at him every day it became obvious to me that something more was growing between us. I trusted him more than anyone else, and that was when I knew that what I felt was so much more than friendship, but I had no idea how or when to tell him, or if he even felt anything for me. It amazed me that we had so much in common, considering we are two different people from two different worlds and two different times. 

Eventually my brain began to wake up and it all started coming back to me. We were running from a hoard of Super Mutants when I took a bullet in the shoulder, we sheltered in the Red Rocket just outside of Sanctuary. Mac acted quickly and gave me a stimpak and took my shirt off to clean the wound. Then some whiskey to help with the pain. He put me into the makeshift bed I had placed there months ago, in case I needed it. I must have laid there for hours, but as I started to wake up, I looked over, he was laying in the bed next to me, I saw him watching me, he looked so worried and had tears streaming down his face, when I looked at him again I realized that, I wasn’t thinking about Nate. This man had become such an important a part of my life and a part of me, without my realizing it. We had been through hell together, fought the scariest monsters the wasteland had to offer, had each other’s backs, and more than once saved each other’s lives. I took a chance and leaned my head up and pressed my lips gently to his, he tentatively kissed me back, but the spark was instant and jolting, I prayed it wasn’t just me that felt it. Once I pulled away and looked into his eyes I knew it wasn’t just me and what happened next was all my dreams come true. 

 

The kisses grew frenzied and passionate. He kissed me in a way that Nate had never kissed me, he moved slowly, and asked if he was hurting me, I said “no. don’t stop” then he was on top of me, no words were said, none were needed, just clothes falling to the floor and then there was the intense feeling of Mac slowly sliding himself into me and then he paused as my body adjusted to his and we both enjoyed the feeling of our coming together. Then it was frenzied and hot. Like two animals who could not get enough of each other. It went on like this for hours and the second and third time were even better. Then as the sun started to slowly brighten the sky we fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms. 

My head finally cleared it must have been a combination of exhaustion, the stimpak, and pain that made me so groggy. I put a shirt on, and tried not to wake up Mac, I slipped out of the make shift office to the door leading outside to get some fresh air. Mac started to wake and I heard him call out my name. I went back inside and sat on the bed next to him. He was so relived he kissed me again, only this time he was hesitant, and had a worried look on his face. He asked “is that okay?” I looked at him like he was crazy and said. “After last night, you need to ask?” He smiled and admitted he thought maybe it was adrenaline and all the drugs in my system, and that maybe in the light of day I felt differently and regretted what had happened. Then came the torrent of emotion that he had held inside for so long.

“I thought I lost you last night and I wanted to die with you.” I couldn’t believe it was happening again, Someone I love was going to die right in front of me and I was helpless to stop it.” “when you kissed me everything inside me told me to stop, you were injured and on meds, but I had wanted that, wanted you for so long, that I couldn’t stop.” I am so sorry for taking advantage of you and if you want me to leave I will, I just.” Mac are you going to let me say anything?” Sorry boss just got carried away. “did you just say you loved me?” “I’m sorry it came out like that, I have wanted to tell you for so long now, but I wanted it to be special somewhere nice, not a rusted out old gas station.” “ I never thought for one second you could love a greasy low life Merc, but I hoped and then when you kissed me the way you did I thought for sure you felt the same way, but I wanted you so badly that I told myself, even if you told me to never come back, it was worth it to have at least one night with the woman who broke down all my walls and made me love again.” Tears were streaming down my face and I was filled with so many emotions. I dropped my head in my hands trying to make sense of everything, not just last night, but everything. My whole life, then and now nothing made sense. I had never really dealt with any of the emotions that were there when I crawled out of the vault, I had to bury them and fight to survive. Mac had knocked down all my walls and I finally felt everything bubble up to the surface. I finally gave voice to all the built-up feelings. 

“How did I get here? I was a stay a home mom with a dusty law degree and no desire at all to change my life. I had never even seen a gun up close, much less shoot one. Sure Nate was a career soldier so he knew all about war and warfare, but he never brought any of that home with him! He had asked me on more than one occasion to go to the shooting range with him so I could learn to use a gun, in case I ever needed it, but why, why would I ever need to use a gun. I never even considered it. My life was safe predictable.” 

“I was a housewife and a mother for Christ sake; I lived in suburbia I was a million miles away from the war, nosey neighbors were my biggest headache. What could I possibly ever need a gun for? I knew nothing about the war or fighting I was so insulated from all of it. My biggest worry was running the house and even that was minimal after we got Codsworth. My life was perfect and I had everything I needed and wanted. Then the news came on and everything changed. One minute I was making plans with Nate to take Shaun to the park and the next we were running for our lives to a vault to avoid the atomic blast that was coming any second. God, if we had waited even seconds longer I wouldn’t even be here right now. 

Where is here? here is a rusted out abandoned gas station in a wasteland that used to be the town I lived in, sleeping on the ground after walking for days to reach any kind of civilization. I am eating irradiated roach meat, shooting raiders, and mutants and anything else that looks remotely dangerous. Me a lawyer, a housewife and mother, I am wearing armor and carrying three different guns. Did you know I killed at least a dozen people today?”

“Can you even call super mutants people, god super mutants all of this is like some crazy science fiction nightmare that I want to wake up from. Super Mutants really how are they even possible; the raiders I get survival will make people do things and act in ways they never would have imagined, look at me for Christ sake, but Super Mutants? Wasn’t total atomic annihilation enough for the love of God did they also need to add new monsters to the mix. Fuck what the hell happened for 200 years while I was frozen?” 

“I don’t remember anything after the cryo pod froze me. We thought we were going to live underground until it was safe to go back outside, a simple decontamination procedure my ass. Vault-Tec lied to all of us. They always intended to freeze us and run experiments on us. Having wandered through other vaults I do feel like we got the better end of that deal. I was frozen and unaware of anything going on up top, that was until some asshole woke me up to watch them shoot my husband and kidnap my son, sick bastards, if they didn’t need me then they why wake me up? Simply to watch, even if I was the back-up plan whatever the hell that means, fucking assholes. Then it went black again, I wanted to die I’d hoped I was dead. Then I woke up again. Once the pod lid released and opened up and I fell out I scrambled to get my footing, my legs were weak and I was frozen literally. All I could think was maybe it was a terrible dream and that Shaun and Nate were awake and we would walk out of there together. Once I could open Nate’s pod reality kicked me right in the chest. There he was alone, no Shaun. He looked like he was asleep, handsome as ever and all I wanted was for him to wake up and tell me everything was going to be okay. He was not going to wake up, logically I knew that but what was happening was so crazy and so unreal that my brain refused to accept anything. I slid to the floor at Nate’s feet and sobbed uncontrollably, I must have worn myself out crying, because I woke up still on the floor clinging to Nate. I decided to just stay there and die with him, then I realized that Shaun wasn’t there, which meant the he was out there somewhere. I had no idea what was out there or where to start, but I had something to live for, and that was all I needed. I stood up, kissed Nate one last time and slipped his wedding ring off placed it on top of mine and began looking for a way out of the vault. Before I left I promised Nate I would always love him and I would find out how this happened and I would get our son back. I got to the elevator and it took me to the surface.”” 

“The first rays of sunlight burned my eyes and it took what seemed like eternity to adjust, and when it did I immediately wished they hadn’t, cause what I saw was terrible. The beautiful world I had left behind was gone. What was left was utter devastation. Everything was dead for as far as the eye could see. All the beautiful color that made up my world was gone. Left behind was dark brown landscape devoid of anything I could recognize. I stood there at the vault entrance looking out at the barren neighborhood that I called home, I became hopeless, how could I ever believe I could find my son in this, this wasteland. I immediately ran straight to what I hoped was my home. Surely there had to be something left. Maybe someone survived that saw something or could help me. As I got down closer to my old neighborhood things got worse. There were skeletons of the people who had been trying to enter the vault, ruins of homes, cars literally burned down to the frame. I approached what I hoped was my house and I was overjoyed that it was still standing, although that was all I could say about it. The roof was destroyed, walls were missing, and windows were gone. However, to my shock right outside the front of the house trimming the shrubs was Codsworth our robot butler.” 

“Codsworth the pride of General Atomics as he always called himself, was just as shocked to see me, he had thought we were dead, but had waited at the house in case we returned. He was so overjoyed to see me that he began rambling on and on about trying to get the house clean and being alone all this time, and that is when my world completely flipped. I tried to comprehend what he was saying I had to ask him again. Codsworth did you just say you have been here waiting for 200 years? he corrected himself and said “actually a bit over 210 mum” 210 years! How, what, words failed me and all I could do was wander to the doorstep and sit down to attempt to make sense of everything that had happened. While it was over 200 years to the rest of the world it was a blink of an eye to me, in fact it was as if I went to sleep and overnight my whole life was erased and remade with something completely different. I sat for what felt like forever and when I finally got up, I stepped through the door of what was once my house. It was still slightly recognizable and I could see our furniture still there, I walked into our kitchen and it began to hit me there was a bottle on the sink. Shaun, where was he? Was he alive? How old would he be? Is he safe? Thousands of thoughts and questions ran through my head and I tried to shake it off, but it was no use.” 

"The hopelessness and the pain and loss finally overtook me, I ran down the hall to Shaun’s room and there was his crib, his room was a mess, but his toys were still on the floor, and what was left of the mobile was still on the crib, I fell into a chair that was next to his crib and I curled up in a ball and cried, and cried. I sat there through the day and saw the darkness begin to creep in the room. I stayed there through the night and fell asleep at some point. I must have been exhausted, because I slept through the night into the next day. I felt numb and didn’t know how I was going to go on.”

Mac finally stood up and walked over to me, he didn’t say a word he just wrapped his arms around me and held me, as I sobbed into his bare shoulder. Eventually he spoke “we have all had it bad since the bombs fell” he said quietly. “But we all grew up in this world; this is all we’ve ever known.” “Except for the handful of pre-war ghouls no one from before the war is still alive” he continued “Even the ghouls have learned to cope and have had time to adjust to this new world.” “You were thrown into it with no warning and no preparation” “I wouldn’t wish this world on anyone and yet you have survived.” Mac was the one person who really understood what I had been through to be standing there with him. I think it messed with his head a little, the part of him that was selfish was glad I was there no matter how I got there, but the rest of him, the part I fell in love with would sacrifice everything so that I never suffered for even a moment, even if that sacrifice meant us never finding each other. 

I broke away and looked at him, and wondered how I could have fallen in love so easily, I loved Nate he was a good man, we had a good life. The thought of being with anyone else never crossed my mind. Even though 200 years had passed it had only been six months for me, so how could I abandon Nate and just forget about him so easily? MacCready asked what I was thinking and I was afraid to answer in case it hurt him. We had just shared the most intimate thing two people can share and now I was feeling a twinge of regret. To avoid the awkwardness of the situation I distracted him by kissing him, and walking him in the direction of the bed, he wasn’t having it. “beautiful, don’t think for one second that I don’t want you naked in that bed with me all day long, but something is bugging you and I want to know what it is.” Damn him, he could read me like a book, something I had to admit Nate was not great at, I know he loved me, and would do anything for me. I had to admit he didn’t really understand me and whenever I needed him to pick up on hints or behaviors he missed them by a lot. McCready on the other hand knew my different breaths, the way I breathe when I am angry, scared, frustrated, and happy. 

I finally told him “Mac, I just lost Nate six months ago, I should be grieving, not sleeping with the first man that comes along.” I wanted to take the words back the moment I said them. His face fell and looked like I kicked him in the stomach. “Mac I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean it like that.” “Look you have had years to cope with Lucy’s death, and you’re obviously ready to move on, I am too, but there is a part of me that feels like I am betraying Nate somehow by loving you, which I do, Mac, I love you so much, more than I thought possible, more than I ever loved Nate.” 

There is was, the truth, the words that were in my head and my heart, but I was afraid to say. The truth about why I was so upset. It wasn’t that I loved Mac, but that I realized if this is what real love felt like then did I ever love Nate? I thought I loved him, but what I feel for MacCready is so powerful and real, when I am not with him I can’t breathe. I feel out of sync when I am not with him, I can’t function. I never needed Nate. I need MacCready, so I told him that. “Mac, I never felt anything like this with Nate, when he was away I missed him, but I managed just fine without him. Mac, I need you like I need air.” He looked at me so intensely. “I feel horrible for feeling this way, like my life with Nate was a lie and he deserved better.” 

Mac took my hand kissed it and said “I know how you feel, doll I had the same thoughts about Lucy, but I am not about to let anything, especially my past keep me from loving you.” Lucy is gone, we had our time and it’s over. She is my past, you are my present and I hope my future.”

Mac picked me up and carried me over to the bed, and laid me down. As he crawled on top of me and began to take off my top he just looked at me with an intensity that I had never seen in his eyes or anyone else’s for that matter. Once we were both free of our clothes, he gently settled himself between my legs and slowly slid himself inside of me and I felt so complete and full it was glorious. I cried tears of joy and said “Don’t ever stop making love to me, promise you will always want this, want me.” Mac leaned down slowly and kissed me so passionately, and whispered in my ear “I plan on walking this earth with you till the day I die” and with that he started to move slowly at first. Torturously slow, then as if he knew just the moment before I spoke the words begging him for more he moved my legs so that they were on his shoulders and began to move so fast and so hard the bed almost broke, the only words coming out of his mouth were words of praise, adoration and love. I realized then that Nate was gone, and he was not coming back, he was my past. MacCready, this incredible man on top of me and inside of me was my future. It was possible to love more than one person in a lifetime and I had lived two lifetimes. Hadn’t I left the old me behind in every other way, it was time to let go of the last thing holding me to my old life. And with that thought my world shattered as I exploded in ecstasy and Mac followed me in his own burst of pleasure.

I packed away, the two wedding rings I had been wearing since I left vault. As we packed up to leave for Sanctuary, I smiled at him and said “Mac, I love you forever” Mac looked over at me with a glint in his eyes and said “back at ya doll, just remember who said it first.” Walked over kissed me hard and led the way to Sanctuary.


End file.
